Courtney (princessodyssey) wrote in christianitysex,

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I know this subject has come up many times before, but I'd really appreciate your input

Hi. I'm Courtney. 27. I've been lurking lately, but this is the first post.

I guess the easiest way to do this and dive in is to post an excerpt that I recently posted in an f-locked post in my personal journal (don't worry, it's only about a paragraph long). It pretty much sums up where I'm going with this:

"...My latest [interest in] Adam Lambert has really got me thinking about some things. That whole issue I'm always struggling with about what I really think about homosexuality vs. what the Bible says about it. I'm pretty much ALWAYS thinking about that (there are too many gay people in my life that I love dearly to NOT think about it), but this has really spotlighted it and brought it front and center in my mind lately. I've heard/read him talking about how when he came out to his mom, it was like a wall came down between them and they wound up talking til 3 in the morning. I wish so much it could have been like that for [my 19-year-old brother] Taylor. I've seen him near tears telling Mom, "Dad hates me, and he hates me because of who I am," and it breaks my heart. I've heard one of my closest friends talk about how much it hurts that she can't marry the person she loves. It's very weird: it's the first real issue in which what I think I believe goes directly against what the Bible says, and as a Christian, that's very weird and hard to figure out. To be honest, posting about it on [my personal journal], even f-locked, scares the crap out of me, because I have no idea how people will react. I'm scared my gay friends will be mad at me for questioning whether it's wrong, I'm scared my Christian friends will be mad at me for questioning the Bible.

I can't win either way, so here it is, just me.

My brain is on overload lately. But it's good, it's healthy, I need this."

So I guess my questions are: Does anyone else struggle with this dichotomy? If you believe homosexuality is wrong, how do you deal with all the discrimination and pain that can cause? And if you don't believe homosexuality is wrong, how do you deal with what the Bible says? Has everyone come down on one side of the issue or another, or are there other people who are still struggling with resolving this in their minds?

Also, if you know of good resources, I'd appreciate it if you'd point me to them. I think I'm looking for books that clearly explain things from both sides, so I can, together with God, make my own decision.
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